Talk to Your Kids about Sex

The headline and topic of this blog may cause you to be uncomfortable. Then again, sex is not something that should be a “voodoo topic” according to Frank Turek, author, broadcaster and apologetics expert. While driving to work one morning, I heard Turek say that parents should talk to their kids about sex. Seeing as how our mission is to Lead or Others Will, I went to Turek for more information.

“I think it’s important because the number one influence in kids’ lives is still their parents,” Turek tells “Despite what the media might say or what social media might imply, parents are still the number one influence and if you don’t teach your kids the truth about such things, then much error will be taught to them about the culture.”

According to Turek, one of the biggest errors about sex is that it is just a physical act.

“It’s emotional, it’s spiritual, it’s psychological, it’s moral, it’s procreative, it’s so much more than just the physical act and when you have sex with somebody, everything changes forever,” he says.

Turek put it another way.

“You wouldn’t say to somebody who has been sexually abused Oh, just get over it!” he explains. “So we know there is much more to it than just the physical act.”

Yet another way to think of sex is by comparing it to fire. If you keep a fire in your fireplace, it will warm you. It can even be beautiful, but if you get it anywhere else in your home, a fire will burn your house down.

“So we need to be very clear with our kids what the purpose of sex is, what happens with regard to sex, what it’s really about, what it’s really for,” says Turek.

When is a good age or time to talk to your kids about sex?

“That’s a parental decision,” answers Turek. “You’ll know where your kids are mentally and intellectually and socially and whether or not they can handle ‘the talk,’ but I’m really shocked that parents are so squeamish about talking about sex.”

If it is a “voodoo topic,” then chances are your kids are not going to come to you for information and advice.

“They’re going to say Wow that really freaks mom and dad out when we talk about that, so I’m going to go to friends and talk about this.”

Okay, but how do you talk to your kids about sex? My parents are divorced. Right or wrong, like it or not, my brother used a medical book to talk to me about the birds and the bees.

“I had a friend that had a magazine when I was maybe 10,” Turek says. “I was older than that when my dad tried to have the talk with me and I was like Dad, I already know this stuff but I didn’t really know it, I just had heard about it.”

Turek points to Josh McDowell and something he mentioned years ago when his kids was younger.

“He was sitting in a park one day and he noticed some graffiti on a wall and he started to explain what the graffiti meant to his kids,” Turek explains. “So the kids felt totally open, that dad is not afraid to talk about any of this and what it really means and so the kids would always come to him for advice.”

Turek says that his wife is the same way.

“They always felt free to come talk to her, come talk to me, and it never was a voodoo topic,” he says. “If that’s the case, then you’re going to have some good influence with them.”

All things considered, Turek considers sex to fall under the category of cultural, theological or even philosophical apologetics.

“Apologetics is not just about why the Bible is true or why God exists or Jesus rose from the dead,” he says.

Readers wanting more information can check out Turek’s 10-point article So What’s The Deal With Sex? It is included with the Fearless Faith information that Turek co-authored for Cross

“The other thing I wanted to mention is that when anybody has sex outside of marriage, the bonding aspects that are built into sex make you think you are more compatible with someone than you might really be,” he warns. “In other words, the fog of your sexual relationship may cause you to think you are relationally compatible and then you learn too late that you’re really not and that is so often what leads to divorce.”


Chris Woodward

Assistant Editor, One Million Dads
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